The Beatles sang the song “All you need is love.” But in reality, fights, alone time, and disagreements are what actually give relationships strength and character. Although you might feel hurt and start doubting your partner after your first argument, psychologists tell us that these trials allow couples to get to know each other better and ultimately come out stronger.
We at Bright Side have checked in on couple behaviors that are thought to be weird or even romance deal breakers, but psychology actually says otherwise.
1. You use “we” instead of “I”
“We are in love.” “We’re pregnant.” Constantly referring to yourselves in the plural can come across as a little weird to others, but it takes a minimum of 2 people to be in a relationship, and psychology tells us that using “we” concretizes the fact that you and your partner now have each other’s backs in the relationship.
According to a study, couples who frequently used the pronouns “I” or “me” in conversations were observed to be in a distant and troubled relationship. On the other hand, using “we” and “us” has been linked to empathy and humility. Using plural pronouns gives reference to 2 people as a couple and not as separate people doing their own thing.
2. You stay you amidst the “us.”
While there is a “we” and an “us” in a relationship, a flourishing relationship is one where 2 people identify as a couple, yet keep their own identity to remain their individual selves. Solo experiences allow you to grow and reflect on your personal life, which can also benefit your relationship and the connection you have with your spouse or partner.
Regardless of the new and different roles you assume in your life, you are still an individual. In order for you and your partner to continue holding on to your identities, you must respect each other’s boundaries, be patient, and constantly communicate. This means giving each other time and space, not only together but also apart.